Pointy teeth as sharp as blades,
Ray Reardon's haircut fallen from grace,
Pointy sticks - they make him mad,
'Cos Dracula was our Ray's dad.

Spook, Perv, Snooker Hall
(x4)

Crowley once challenged Ray to a game
Losing your soul was the paying stake,
Crowley used garlic, brightstone and fire,
'Cos fucking Ray Reardon is a vampire.

Ray Reardon, Ray Reardon,
We are all doomed
(x4)

Spook, Perv, Snooker Hall
(x4)

Referee, come clean the white,
Dracula he takes a bite.
(x3)

Referee, come clean the white, now.